A Poem About Depression

Aruba Descending

Aruba descending, descending down
Into subsurface currents previously unfound
Spinning and twisting against her will
Tail splaying helplessly in this malevolent swirl


Harsh is the weather above and below
Flotsam and jetsam hurling to and fro
Where it's dark and it's cold with no air to breathe
Yet here she remains afraid to leave


Named for an island near a reef where she was found
Where at a young age she became dispiritedly bound
To the rules of those from whom she sought approval
A debris so entrenched with no hope for removal


Presiding over a collection in her sea cave
Skeletons from the past, a watery grave
A skull named Anger dominates this place
It's written all over what once was her face
Wrist bones show grooves where razors cut deep
Releasing lifeblood's hold, a permanent sleep


Buried inside a shell of her own making
Barnacle-encrusted, salt and seaweed caking
A cold, clammy feeling upon her is leached
Creating a tomb which cannot be breached


"I carry my own anchors and chains
As a series of shipwrecks scourge through my veins
Pierced by the splinters of decaying wood
Drops of blood are my offering, a way to make good
On promises I repeatedly broke to myself
Dreams I've left lying on a dusty old shelf


"A shiny object had me lured and hooked
Signaling danger which I overlooked
Helplessly falling into a tattered net
Trapped and entangled in this fate I've beget


"My dreams were like gemstones of dazzling hues
Sparkling and brilliant, too precious to lose
Snatched by the pirates of deception and self-pity
Their swords raised in triumph, faces hardened and gritty"


Aruba descending upon her throne
A kingdom within to her unknown
Pearls of wisdom she has yet to string
A muted voice that longs to sing


Garbage from the surface litters her mind
Swill and debris floating in kind
Poisons and pollutants leak from barrels
Tossed without thought to whom it imperils


"I am like a sea sponge soaked with emotion
Saturated and drenched, seeping into the ocean
A fragile encasement of water and air
With holes so many, too easily I tear


"I am raw and naked, scars exposed as I float
Peered at from above through a glass-bottomed boat
My foundation is weak like a castle made of sand
Precariously perched between ocean and land


"I claw and clench my way across the seafloor
I feed from the bottom, too scared to do more
Grasping for a morsel to satiate my taste
Swallowed by fear, life's most toxic waste"


Aruba descending into the comfort of sleep
Relieved of the watch she so vigilantly keeps
Her dreams are a muddle of thoughts unexpressed
Like the rising of the tide, seldom at rest


Aruba defending an awkward position
Made worse by her skilled art of indecision
"I am slippery like the eel
I don't trust myself or how I feel
All of my vain attempts to step away from the ledge
Have only pushed me further toward the edge"


Aruba descending into the depths of madness
Stoic, emotionless, neither gladness nor sadness
What is madness anyway but something misunderstood
A jab at mediocrity and acting as you should


Aruba descending into the bottomless sea
Come out of your tailspin and set yourself free
Ascend like a diver, decompressing as you go
Painlessly rising from the darkness below


Aruba ascending from the depths of the ocean
Releasing a lifetime of buried emotion
Narrowly teetering on an even keel
Breaking the surface, it's time to heal


- Aerwyna